Oct 262012
Christopher Turk

Christopher Turk (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

If a white male writes a book, movie, or TV show where the main character is white but has a black friend, there is a 93% chance that friend will be a replica of Turk from “Scrubs.”

If someone leaves you a message along the lines of, “I need to talk to you about something” and does not indicate what it’s about, there is an 82% percent chance that what they need to talk to you about is actually pretty trivial.

If it exists, there is a 47% chance that there is a sexy Halloween costume version of it.

“Maybe” means “no” 68% of the time.

If someone uses the word “decimate,” there is a 99.9% chance they mean “almost destroyed” as opposed to “reduced by ten percent.”

There is an 83% chance your co-worker has heard of the band Journey and a 24% chance they can successfully identify a Journey song that is not “Don’t Stop Believin’.”

Managers have a 77% chance of using nouns as verbs and verbs as nouns.

There is a 65% chance that you have rolled your window up or changed the station at a stoplight so the other drivers wouldn’t know what you had been listening to.

There is a 98% chance that, “We realize this is just an estimate; we won’t hold you to it,” is another way of saying, “We will totally hold you to it.”

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