Feb 282013
 
SITH-03

SITH-03 (Photo credit: Lupin Tyde)

It’s been a while since I last condensed my wisdom into useful proverbs suitable for framing, preferably under a photo of a soaring eagle or a sunrise over a snowy mountain.  I can’t hold it in anymore, however, so put on your boots and get ready for condensed wisdom!

Before you ask others to change, change yourself. Specifically, change yourself into someone who doesn’t really care if anyone else changes, because then it’s, like, a win-win.

I wanted to live a life that others only dream about, so I showed up at my old high school in my underwear and took a test I hadn’t studied for.

The currency of Viet Nam is the dong, so the next time you’re around a bunch of high-powered investors, tell them you’ve been buying a lot of Vietnamese dong, lately, then sip your brandy and nod smugly.

Before you blame someone for failure, choke them with the Force. If you’re a Sith Lord. If you’re not, then, um… so… have you thought about being a Sith Lord?

Success is 10% inspiration and 90% perspiration. And 100% stealing from Nikolai Tesla.

If you are sharing a planet with a people group known as “Decepticons,” the odds are good they’re going to screw you over at some point. Plan ahead.

Every business mogul tells you how much you should focus on being disruptive until you show up at their son’s briss.

If I wrote Chinese fortune cookie fortunes, I’d try to make them ominous and specific like, “Watch out for Steve,” or, “The blue one is more prone to catch fire.” They wouldn’t hit very often, but when they did, it’d be absolute gold.

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